It was all too real, and there was nothing that I could do about it, helpless and alone trying to overcome the instinct to panic and flee, but somehow, I managed to grin and bear it......my friends......I was trapped in an A.A meeting. Through the last 70 years that this organization has been around they have perfected their own brand of psychological warfare, I refer to it as "Torture by Psychobabble." This method is the most insidious brand of torture ever devised by man, they purposely try to confuse and disorient, (Fuck water boarding, make the terrorists go to A.A meetings) they scoff at religion as the height of absurdity yet instead of 10 commandments they have 12 and 10 of these either say "God" outright or imply it. When asked about this paradox they then throw in the trump card, "Oh, well it's not God, its a God of your understanding." .........what the fuck??? God of my understanding? I've been told before in meetings when it is discovered that I am an atheist that I can "Have anything for a higher power you could even pray to the rafters!" (I have really and honestly been told this on numerous occasions) So following this logic if you tell someone at an A.A meeting that you pray to "Dirt Bike Mike from Tujunga" or the Magic Dragon "Humphrey the Hermaphrodite" this would be considered the height of wisdom and you would probably get some people to convert. You will always hear it said that in the beginning of your "recovery" you should go to 90 meetings in 90 days, this is a trick, A double blind study was done in the early 1990's that confirmed that 1 A.A meeting reduces your I.Q by 1/2 a point until it bottoms out at 92 at which point you will have become sufficiently stupid to believe and accept the gospel of A.A. Sitting through one of these meetings is like sitting in a room with 20 demented toddlers trying to explain to you the meaning of life. My own mother has been lured in to this cult......damn you A.A!! The most tell tale sign of A.A addiction is the propensity to blame everything on alcohol, let me give you an example. When I had first arrived in Utah I was taken very ill, I have no idea what it was but I was vomiting periodically and basically I felt like fucking shit, humans get sick from time to time so you just try to rest and deal with it. So I'm lying in my room watching T.V in a cold sweat and all the sudden my mom pops into my room. Shit! I didn't even have a chance to pretend that I was asleep, and to make matters worse she's holding a book. I would know that goddamn book anywhere it was the "big book" the Alcoholics Anonymous high bullshit manifesto.....fuck. "Oh, hi mom, I was just, uh, about to fall asleep." And she starts asking me how I'm feeling and everything, the typical mom stuff and I'm thinking OK maybe she doesn't have any tricks up her sleeve.....wrong. She begins to tell me that the reason I'm feeling so sick is because I'm not working the steps!! Steps? Was she talking about A.A steps? Wow! I didn't even know A.A cures colds! "Are you fucking serious??" I replied. (I had quit drinking years ago so I must have been experiencing one hell of a flash back hangover.) At this point I was ready to walk back to prison and see if they would let me have my old cell, because the whole "being free" thing didn't seem to be working out. Then she gives me the argument that every cult, religion, or scam uses "Well how do you know it won't help if you don't try it?" to which I replied, "There were a lot of Indians that thought if you went out in a field and danced a certain way it would make it rain, so why don't you go over in that abandoned lot and dance for a while to make sure that it's not true." Here's some more A.A logic take the first step.....the very first fucking step people. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable." Sounds good right? Well, let me ask you this: If someone hasn't drank in 20 years how in the fuck are they powerless over alcohol? Powerless means you have "No" power, for instance "I am powerless over clouds" this means that there isn't a goddamn thing I can do about fucking clouds. People need to quit blaming everything else for their own shortcomings, like calling alcoholism a disease, my mom swears up and down that it's a disease, Uh, AIDS is a fucking disease, and as far as I know you can't go to a group and talk your way out of AIDS. "For me to be sober is proof of miracles!" is another idiotic statement you'll hear at one of these meetings. First of all what kind of shitty miracle is that? Evidently your "higher power" isn't very creative " Oh Sally I shall bless thee with the power to stop being a drunk whore"..... Let me chop off your head and if it grows back then I'll concede that it is was definitely a miracle. Just because something unlikely happens doesn't mean shit, and just because you want something to be true doesn't make it true. So go fuck yourself A.A jerk.
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