Weekend in Las Vegas / A letter to my arrogant sister

You really need to come out to Las Vegas because we need way more help, honestly Courtney and I are the only ones who can stick to one thing and accomplish it Mom comes in a close third. The first day i'm busting my ass i mean cleaning like an absolute maniac, i have never seen such gigantic piles of clothes and random filth. Look i'm well aware that i tend to exaggerate on occasion but this dude Shane literally had over 70 pairs of of socks, Mom is absolutely freaking out "Shane you have to throw these socks away, Shane you have too many socks, Shane the socks, throw em away Shane" Then when that fails she starts with the bribes, "Shane if you throw the socks away i'll buy you new socks" I have to give Shane credit he is a shrewd negotiator, he concedes to throwing out only his "long" socks and i swear this is true.....when mom left the room i caught him stashing long socks...sad. The kid literally spent more time digging through trash bags trying to recover shit that we threw away than cleaning his shit hole house. Shane loves to disappear, he thinks he is clever, he thinks no one notices him slithering out of the garage every so often, it all starts to make sense to me, he is like Superman and Clark Kent in reverse, every time he comes out of his garage he becomes less "Super" what is it about that garage that would make Shane more stupid and lazy every time he leaves it? Nicole, Shane is a pothead. Remember that "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" commercial with the egg frying and all, they should do one called "This is Shane, this is Shane trying to paint cabinets on drugs" There would be Shane standing in front of cabinet doors with a spray gun and a thousand yard stare and he would look at the camera and say any questions? When i was in high school that would be all it would have taken to flush my sack down the toilet for sure. For four days all he had to do was paint some fucking cabinet doors, and all he did was tinker with the nozzle and ask us what kind of donuts he should get for everyone. The funniest thing that totally epitomized that whole trip happened on the last day Mom and I are sitting on the patio and Mom is talking about how she can't take living in filth anymore and ranting about everything, so she grabs a trash bag and starts throwing away various junk laying around out there, she points behind me at a frying pan thats sitting on the torn and tattered weight bench that Shane got for free but never used, and tells me to throw it away. So i pick it up and am about to toss it and she tells me to take the lid off of it to see whats inside so i try to pull it off but its glued on there by something so i jerk harder and the lid comes flying off and this black rancid sludge goes flying everywhere i caught one whiff of it and ran inside to Courtneys' bathroom and went into convulsions whatever that shit was had been sitting in the desert sun for a long time because there were cobwebs on it. So Mom just throws it in the bag and hoses off the concrete and we all get back to painting. So i get my roller and i'm finishing up the stairway walls and i just happen to look out on the patio and lo and behold there's good ol' Shane and he's dug the rusted old rancid fucking frying pan out of the goddamn trash and he's rinsing it out with the hose. I couldn't believe it i was absolutely outraged i thought to myself what a piece of shit this dude is then he stands up and looks at me like a puppy dog that just shit on the carpet, i look at his shirt its white and in big red letters it says REDNECKS ARE PEOPLE TOO, and i thought to myself you know, that shirt is right rednecks are people too and thats the moral of the story not everyone cares about cleanliness and every item having it's place what right have i to judge, i'm on parole nigga and thats why my punctuation is so bad